442 Days.

We're approved.

It took 442 days from our call to the Nova Scotia Adoption Line to the email containing the words, "Congratulations - you're approved." 442 days. One year, two months, and fifteen days. 

In some ways it felt like a ridiculously long time, and in other ways it felt like it flew by. Part of me felt like this part of the journey would take longer, it still feels a little surreal that it's over.

It's a weird feeling too, One that's hard to describe. We're approved, but we're not matched. We can't go out and start buying things for our future children - we don't know whether there will be one or two, girls or boys, or even what ages they'll be. There's no "Congratulations you're approved adoptive parents" greeting cards for people to buy us, no parties or showers. Not that people aren't excited for us, because they are. (So excited, especially Jonathan's mom.) But it's a weird limbo-like place we're in.

All that's left now is the wait. There are things we'll do while we wait (we still have multiple home renos on the go, and a pile of books about adoption) but there's no "next step." I've liked setting small goals, and having things to work towards. But that piece is done. And I think it's scaring me a little.

Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely thrilled to be where we are. I know that the process did move smoothly and fairly quickly for us, And I wouldn't change that for the world. But... I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say or how to put into words how I'm feeling right now. I think that's okay though. This is uncharted territory, and together Jonathan and I are going to figure out how to navigate through it. We might not be able to start picking out items for a nursery, but that doesn't mean we're not expectant parents. Every day we are one day closer to the day we get to meet our children.

This is our journey.