Ten months ago Jonathan and I made the decision that would shape the rest of our lives.
We decided to adopt.
Many tears and much prayer and SO MUCH TALKING went into our decision. We are adopting domestically, we are hoping to adopt a pair of siblings 6 years old or younger.
Ten months have passed since we made that first phone call, throwing our names into the ring so to speak. Ten months. If we had been announcing a pregnancy at the same time as we announced our plans to adopt we would be holding our child now. We would have made a birth plan, picked out names, decorated a nursery, decided between cloth and disposable diapers and so much more. Most of these are things that we're not going to be able to do. Someone else is going to name our children, and they may even be out of diapers before they come home to us. And some days that makes me incredibly sad.
But I am going to teach my children to read, and print their names. We are going to teach them about love and about the Lord. We are going to talk to them about how they want their bedrooms decorated and create a room that reflects them and will be a haven for them. I am going to be the one cheering when they cross the stage at graduation and crying when they are walking down the aisle on their wedding day. I can already see Jonathan teaching them to ride a bike and hammer a nail. I am going to buy cute outfits and give good night kisses. We are going to take dorky family photos in matching outfits. My fridge is going to be covered in art work.
Ten months have passed, and I have no idea how much longer we'll be waiting. Things are moving forward right now, but at some point they'll pause again. And I'm okay with that. This is my journey, this is my path. Someday I'm going to be a mother.