I really don't even know where to start.
I was talking with a friend who's also adopting, and she was listing all the emotions she was feeling. Excited, hopeful, scared, anxious, nervous... plus a few that we weren't sure what to call. We decided that there should be a word that means all of those things. Because that's how we're feeling.
It's been almost two months since we got the call that we've been matched.
There is still nothing official. Which means, friends and family, even if you want to, don't start buying anything. ;-) (Not that's stopped us...) We've had two meetings so far, one with the social workers involved with the children, and one with the foster parents who are currently caring for/loving the children.
Both of the meetings were scary and overwhelming.
But they were also full of hope.
The next step is meeting with some of the other folks outside the system who know the kids. Day care staff, occupational therapists...
And while nothing is official yet, it's feeling very real all of the sudden.
I'm going to be a mom.
My whole life is going to change.
I won't be leaving the house every morning to go to work.
I'll have mountains of laundry.
To two small humans I'll be Mommy, and Jonathan will be Daddy.
This journey has not been what we expected.
And we know that what's coming isn't going to be easy. Parenthood is never easy, but we are going to have some unique challenges. (Like every family does.)
I'm sitting on the couch, listening to Daisy snore, realizing that my days are going to change drastically in the coming months.
Packing school lunches, watching Tree House TV, playing with dinkies, appointments, visits from social workers... This is going to be my new life.
The new chapter. A whole new book.
I'm sad to see the end of this story. I love the life that Jonathan and I have built together. I love us. But I am so excited to start this new story. I'm ready to see the new us.
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| Good thing we love roller coasters! :-) |
